Sunshine and Shadow by Laura London

Author:Laura London [London, Laura]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781455552344
Google: ZaauoQEACAAJ
Publisher: Forever Yours
Published: 1986-01-01T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 16

It was the first time she’d allowed him to do this, to take her up in his car, even though he always offered. For one thing, the community would have raised hob if she’d been seen zipping here and there in a car with an English bachelor. Another thing was, she liked the independence of coming and going on her own. She took the buggy sometimes, or she walked or rode, becoming part of the sunshine, or the pearly gray of cloudy days. She could hear the birds in the morning and again in the evening, and how the wind changed. You couldn’t hear much in a car, only road noise and the engine. “The hum of the engine” was the phrase she’d read in books. She told him it didn’t sound like a hum to her, more like a roar, and he gave her back a comical look, the kind he gave to tease her when he thought she was being kind of out-of-date.

The discomfort persisted in her muscles, though she tried to make it leave, but she and Alan could still talk together pretty well. She worked to let friendly words cover the urgent needs and unsteadiness that lashed at her continually inside. His inner struggles were hidden under the flawless polish of his manners. Knowing him better now, she could see some evidence of strain. It was impossible to figure out how much it cost him to keep the facade intact, but she sensed he’d do it as long as he was able. That was the thing. She wasn’t sure anymore what was going on in his mind. She could only see shadows and guess at substance.

She could have asked him what he was thinking, but the idea of laying too much in the open disturbed her. Even the thought of asking him was an English one, something she’d learned from them. On the set she had heard Alan say to this one or that one: “Are we communicating?” It meant, saying things right out. They had great trust in words. That was the hard thing to understand. On the one hand, they believed words had a tremendous power to solve problems, that somewhere there were the right words, almost like a spell, to make any two people get along and understand each other. On the other hand, they were careless with words, throwing out anything in anger, using harmful words without a thought. Words were nothing, words were everything.

It wasn’t the way she’d been brought up. There was a lot in her family that was never put into words. Many things. She thought about the times when there was a break in the harmony between her mother and Aunt Mary. It only happened maybe once a year, at most, because her mother was easygoing, but there were times when Aunt Mary would want to do things her way, or she’d be fussy about this or the other, and Mother would put her foot down. There

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